the other LA girl

I’m in day 3 of a 28 day full body cleanse. 

I love food. No. That’s not even accurate. Food for me is something that calms and excites me at the same time. And since learning how to cook - arguably not as good as my mom or my brother, it’s one of the few things that I can do daily that lets me be artistic in a non actory way.

Beside loving to cook it I love to eat it. And a lot of it. My typical day revolves around food. What am I currently eating and what am I going to eat. Conversations while eating tend to revolve around how good the food is, or how good a meal in the past was, or how amazing food in the future will be.

And since I love to eat so much it is totally necessary to me to keep a pretty tight workout schedule. Between my actor life, my social life, my personal life, and my food life my life is crazy full. (And please don’t confuse full for significant or impressive…just full….)

So the cleanse is a good time for me to focus on other things and not cheese. 

It’s the second time I’ve done this. The Boyfriend introduced it to me after doing it about 5 or 6 times himself. I was hesitant at first. But since I live Hollywood Adjacent and stupid body diets are totally vogue I acquiesced.

It’s not exactly fun, but it’s not exactly not fun either though. 

After I work through the caffeine and alcohol and salt and cheese withdrawal it gets a bit easier, too. 

And it’s a way for me to be the super skinny girl at the audition - until I start my normal diet again and surf in a vat of goat cheese on a olive rosemary crostini. 
 

Queen is probably my favorite band. I’m not one for certitudes so I hesitate saying My Favorite Band but at this exact moment I can’t think of a band that has quite the same affect on me.

Queen is my go to for when I need any kind of emotional support. I love them and I think they would love me too. 

My go to for when I have an audition is Breakthru. I mean look at the lyrics:

If I could only reach you
If I could make you smile
If I could only reach you
That would really be a breakthru 

Oh yeah

Breakthru, these barriers of pain
Breakthru, yeah, to the sunshine from the rain

If these aren’t the desperate pleads of an actor just wishing a casting director will bring her back for a call back, if these aren’t the frantic cries of an actor begging a director to bring her on set, if these aren’t desolate supplication of an actor petitioning a producer to give the A-OK to all of it, I don’t know what is. 

I blare it over my speakers (or I used to - my CD was stolen out of my car, along with a lot of other things when I suffered my first LA Car Break In..so now I just play it on my iPhone’s speaker. It doesn’t have the same gravitas but it works and I) sing it as loud as I can. It’s my mantra. My prayer. My pepper upper. 

And since I have an audition today (!) I will be playing it all day. While I’m getting dressed for the audition - while I’m taking a break from working on my sides - while I’m driving to the audition - while I’m sitting in the waiting room. It’ll be on repeat. 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do:

“Ooooh yeaaaaah…..totally forgot that character even existed. Ok…let’s see what you can do.”

~ Producer at An Audition

(actor reenactment of said producer)

Nothing takes the wind out of your well prepared, perfectly dress self than the realization that the part that you are totally pumped and excited to audition for is so small the producer forgot about it’s existence. 

Above is a screen shot of the character breakdown. 

I was easily the biggest girl at the audition. 

I wear a size 2 dress. 

This town is messed up. 

On a good note (see! I’m being more upbeat - like I mentioned I may attempt to be) I got a “great job!” from the Casting Director - so fingers crossed I was appropriately angry and heavy!

I have a fake audition on Thursday. I’m pretty excited about it actually.

A few weeks ago I had an audition that easily ranks within my Top 5 Strangest auditions I’ve ever had. Part of what made it bizarre was the comment the director made during said audition that his friend, who is also casting a project, might contact one of us to audition for his project.

This is laziness on an epic level that requires total respect. This director has decided instead of using normal means to find actors he’s gonna troll the auditions of his friends to save…what? Time? Energy? Nice.

I must say, as a truly lazy person who looks to the sloth with only the love and adoration that most reserve for kittens, when this friend director contacted me this morning for an audition I was pretty stoked. 

If you want to buy me this necklace please do so here: Contact me for shipping address. 

I don’t have high hopes of being cast if only from experience (and The Secret didn’t really take with me…) but nonetheless I’m excited.

Another things that makes me excited was the email I received which included the comment: “auditions will be comedic improve. Please come with a headshot and resume” because A. I get to do comedic things (I’ve done UCB so I’m totally schooled in funny). And B. I love the idea that this director has come in contact with actors in LA that don’t bring a headshot and resume so much so that he must remind people to bring them. 

Come Thursday at 2 pm have happy thoughts sent my way. I’ll be having fun doing comedic improve, headshot/resume at hand.